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Take This Waltz (DQ)

1/10

Stars: Michelle Williams, Seth Rogen, Luke Kirby, Sarah Silverman

Director: Sarah Polley

Yes, take it as far as you can go and throw it in the lake. Airhead housewife Williams, sort-of-happily-married to an adorable cookbook-writing husband (Rogen) conceives the hots for neighbouring rickshaw driver/artist Kirby, who seduces her by telling her how he would make love to her.

The silly woman runs off to him, but ends up with much the same existence as she had before. Somehow, this takes writer-director Polley, whose script contains no real insight into human relations, nearly two hours to unfold; she fills it with inane dialogue for Williams, ranging from 'I don't like being in between things' to the longer, but even more artificial, 'Sometimes I walk along the street and a shaft of light falls across the pavement in a certain way, and I want to cry'. Who says such things? Well, only in screenplays as pretentious as this one.

With two big stars in the lead - and they do their reputations no harm - this is a huge disappointment. Best thing: the wonderful Leonard Cohen title song, unfortunately played as the backdrop to some graphic but very unerotic sex scenes towards the end.

David Quinlan

Canada 2011. UK Distributor: StudioCanal. Technicolor.
116 minutes. Not widescreen. UK certificate: 15.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 2, Violence/Horror 0, Drugs 0, Swearing 1.

Review date: 12 Aug 2012