Pain & Gain

Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Ed Harris, Bar Paly, Tony Shalhoub, Rebel Wilson, Rob Corddry, Peter Stormare

Director: Michael Bay

A train-wreck of a film. Three bodybuilders (Wahlberg, Johnson, Mackie) launch an adrenalin-fuelled scheme to kidnap one of their wealthy clients (Shalhoub) and 'persuade' him to sign over all of his money. Beating him to within an inch of his life, they finally get him to do so.

But wait a minute. These guys are our heroes. We shouldn't want them to get caught. Alas, we can't wait for these lethal numskulls to get their just deserts, even though it takes more than two hours for the moment to arrive, and not before the leader (Wahlberg) has accidentally killed another 'mark', whose woman then also has to be silenced.

The film's muscle-straining action is as simple-minded as our steroid-busting trio. How does this brain-dead story last this long? Only director Bay, who hasn't made a decent movie since Bad Boys, could tell us.

David Quinlan

USA 2013. UK Distributor: Paramount. Technicolor.
129 minutes. Widescreen. UK certificate: 15.

Guidance ratings (out of 3): Sex/nudity 1, Violence/Horror 2, Drugs 2, Swearing 3.

Review date: 23 Aug 2013